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Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
5:18 pm - full circle
http://games.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600083850&chapter=21

The last chapter of Cross Blades is up.

Enjoy.

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Sunday, March 1st, 2009
12:56 pm - is it hot in here???
I spilled coffee on Smokey. That is all.

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Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
7:21 am - The Speculation Game
When I was little, I liked to play a game while I watched cartoons. At the commercial breaks, I would try to guess what would happen next. How would the hero escape his impending doom? How would the heroine solve the mystery?

A few score and ten years later, I discovered the Internet and online fandoms--first Gargoyles, then Transformers. Finally I had other people interested in playing the "speculation game" with me. It was fun to see whose guess would come closest to what the official story actually did, and it was interesting to read all the different possibilities which fans could come up with based only on a title, or a brief preview of the next episode.

But there was a problem on the Internet. Some people would read speculation posts and act as though they were fact, believing them, repeating them elsewhere and spreading rumours. To avoid this problem, two great rules were enacted:

1. If you are making a statement that is not common knowledge on the board, post a link to show where you got that information.
2. If you are speculating/guessing, state explicitly that your post is simply a guess or an idea, not actual fact.

Maybe it was because those fandoms or forums were relatively small, or because the Net was still new. When someone posted something new and surprising, other posters were able to jump in and say "Where did you hear that? What are your sources? Can you give me proof?"

If one wanted to become a laughingstock, one needed only to claim speculation as fact. If a person skimmed posts and somehow missed "It would be interesting IF this happened" or "I HOPE this doesn't happen," reading only "This happens" or "This doesn't," then that fault was on their head for not paying proper attention, not on the people enjoying the Speculation Game.

Now, in the year 2006, I've about lost my taste for the Speculation Game.

Let me give an example. There's an upcoming Star Wars book called "Sacrifice." The speculation thread for this book is embroiled in a debate about what major character dies during "Sacrifice." I pointed out that a sacrifice doesn't have to be a human life--it could be a planet/base, a way of life, a limb, a belief, a precious object, etc. But nobody seems interested in that possibility. Instead, they debate the upcoming character "death" as though it were certain fact that someone will die.

I hear that over in the Harry Potter fandom, there are fans who want certain things to happen (ie, Harry and Hermione becoming a couple) and who become angry if their speculation does not come to pass as fact. They accuse the author of "wrecking" the characters--forgetting that they are playing the Speculation Game in HER world, and she has every right to write the story as she pleases. Their only right is the right to IMAGINE "What if," not to expect their imaginings to be validated.

Hell, I'm a Decepticon fan. I think I've repeated a zillion times that I would love it if the Decepticons won at the end of the movie/tv series/comic book story arc. I know it's not going to happen--in the Transformers universe, the Decepticons are predestined to lose in the end. Doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it IF such a thing ever could come to pass. Doesn't mean I won't still enjoy the movie/tv series/comic book story arc, the way the creators actually write it.

It's getting to the point that the Speculation Game is looked down on as more trouble than it's worth--spawning rumours, feeding the egos of "Talifans" who feel they have an "ownership" of the story, causing people to form judgements on things they haven't even read yet based on someone else's imagined possibilities. And that's a shame.

I remember when it was still fun to ask "What if?" and share the answers with other fans. I remember when make-believing together, comparing possibilities, was still clearly make-believe. I remember when playing this game didn't threaten to foul a fandom; instead, it kept people involved and active.

The rumour mill, the Talifans, and the people who mix up the Speculation Game with actual fact, are threatening to ruin this game for me. I'd love to tell someone my guesses for the upcoming Gargoyles Comic, or the Republic Commando novels, or the new Transformers live-action movie--but how many rumours might I inadvertently spawn? How many "fans" will read what I write and judge the comic/book/movie on my speculation, or get pissy if my guesses don't come to pass? How many people will think I seriously expect the Decepticons to win in the movie?

So instead, I'm sitting here alone, keeping my guesses to myself, just like when I was an only child on an isolated farm. And I don't know whether to be more angry, or more sad.

current mood: sad

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Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
1:16 pm - Not the test I should be taking.
Hmmm...
You scored 67% Cold and 61% Level-Headed!
You can kill a man, but don't hide the fact that you're ending a life from yourself. Look at the reality of that situation.



My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 91% on Cold
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 61% on Level-Headed
Link: The Can You Kill a Man? Test written by notmarkflynn on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test


current mood: mellow

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Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
9:41 pm - Pie in the bye
Poor Dylan. Ever since he started surgery rotation, he gets up at 5, works from 6 am to 6 pm, comes home, tries to do work, and ends up falling asleep out of exhaustion. He's tired all the time, and I do my best to pick up the slack, but this week and next, I'm working full time hours in addition to full time thesis work. It's insane.

He's sleepy-pie (pie=asleep) in the beddy-bye (bye=bed) right now.

current mood: insane

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Sunday, July 16th, 2006
10:01 pm - I need to be more popular.
If You Ruled the Land . . . by wackyweasel
Your first name:
How you gained your rule:
Your title is:Your Royal Beauteous Grace on High
Your symbol is:the cat, because cats are fluffy and nice
You rule from:a floating castle - ABOVE A VOLCANO!!
At your side is:your standard-bearer, who doubles as a meat shield
Your enforcers, troops, and guards are all:trained animals of many species, all named Fluffy
Your most popular law is:Kareoke Wednesdays, with prizes! EVERYWHERE!!
Your least popular law is:Banning of 'stupidity and laziness in the same person'
Your worst enemy is:those awful clashing tapestries in your great hall
Your popularity rating is:: 2%
Your chance of being overthrown is:: 61%
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
2:46 pm - The joys of prosopagnosia
Prosopagnosia--a condition in which you cannot recognize a person's face.

Something I strongly suspect I have. I've spent my entire life amusing/exasperating my relatives because I don't know who they are when we meet. I know who they are factually--I know I have an Uncle Don--but I can't link names to faces.

Because I don't "see" faces in the common sense. Oh, I can tell if you're missing an eye or have two noses, I can tell what gender you are, and what colour your skin is, and I can tell a very old person from a very young one, but other than that, everyone looks pretty much the same. It's like everyone has one of those yellow smily-face images on their face.

I like people with glasses, scars, birthmarks or tattoos. Those things are distinctive. If people dye or cut their hair I will start failing to recognize them. I tend to memorize people's clothing on a first meeting, because clothes are really distinctive, and I struggle not to because if I meet them again and they're wearing another outfit, I have no clue who they are.

So, today I go to work and there's two people in the office. I know who is usually found in my office: my boss (Tara), Susan, and Amanda. My boss is tall, and the glasses match...one of these people is Tara. Now, Susan is older than I am, and Amanda is about my age. This person does not have grey in her hair, so it isn't Susan. Therefore, I presume it's Amanda.

Only Amanda's blonde and this girl is brunette, so I say, "You've changed your hair!"

Then she speaks, and the voice isn't Amanda's. This is not one of our regular workers. I look at her file on the computer to check the name. This person is, in fact, Tara's boss, Patricia, come to check in on us.

Except...Patricia got a hair cut two days ago and is /delighted,/ congratulating me on how perceptive I am because no one else has noticed.

Oh boy. This is one of those cases where you smile, nod, and thank the Goddess your sow's ear has just turned into a silk purse.

current mood: lucky

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Monday, July 10th, 2006
3:02 pm - The Bitty Rap
Tyche and Kumani want to say that Smokey is not the only family member
with musical talent.

The Bitty Rap

CHORUS:

We be the bitties
we be down in our hood
we be the bitties
and we up to no good
Taking us in
our people might regret
we causin' trouble, sister an'
we ain't done growin' yet!

***

We be the outcasts
of human society
products of our pasts
with no propriety
we got adopted
by our Mom an' MomDad
what they didn't know is
we were born to be bad!

MomDad took us from the trash
and he gave us his milk
and he cleaned us all up
till our fur shone like silk
and we were so cute
and we were so pretty
but under it all
we still be bad kitty!

TYCHE:

She look so cute
all tabby and tawny
but don't be taken in
by a naughty Kumani
she pets the humans
and then she swat
she screams for bugs
with all that she's got!

KUMANI:

Tyche shove herself
into any open box
then she runs into the bedroom
and jumps ontoppa Nox
Black lady be slick
but Tyche be slicker
cause she gets Queen Nox
to agree to lick her!

DUET:

we be playing in the toilet
an' sleeping in the sink
dirtying the litterbox
make it really stink
we be falling asleep
on the dining room table
we be misbehavin'
any way we able!

We mess Mommy's papers
an' steal MomDad's pen
then they yell a lot
so we do it all again!
We like to stalk Smokey
an' give him a scare
then curl up in the drawer
with the human underwear!

in the middle of the night
we run around the bed
we be jumping on the humans
and sleeping on they head
then we get to jammin'
with surround-sound purr
and everywhere we go
we be sheddin' lotsa fur!

We wanna eat a spider
We wanna eat a bug
if it makes our tummy sore
we just puke it on the rug
we can open the screen-door
we know it's ****ing bad
but playin' on the balcony
makes us ***ing glad!

We harrassing Nocturne
We be pestering Smokey
an' climbing up the fridge
for da cat nip tokey
we jeuvenile delinquents
never been schooled--
we bad little bitties
breakin' alla da rules!

current mood: funky

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Sunday, July 9th, 2006
10:37 am - The Smokey Rap
The Smokey Rap
as performed by Smokey (aka Poke Daddy)
with Kumani and Tyche, background dancing bitties
and commentary by Nocturne, music critic

My name is Pokey Smokey
I'm a very lazy boy
When you pet me on the head
then you will see the kitty joy
with your lap down below
and your hand up above
stroking my back
for the kitty kitty luv!

CHORUS:

I'm Smokey.
BITTIES (background singers) Mew mew chicka-mew maow maow!
I'm pokey.
BITTIES: Mew mew chicka-mew maow maow!
I'm Smokey, I'm pokey
BITTIES: Chicka-mew Maow Maow!
I'm pokey, I'm Smokey
BITTIES: Chicka-mew Maow Maow!

At four in the morning
I'm gettin' in the mood
to wander to the kitchen
and to eat a little food
when I feel an awful chill
in the bottom of my soul
cause I can see the bottom
of the kitty vittle bowl!

So I go into the bedroom
an' I do the pokey dance
while singin' for my breakfast
in a hungry kitty trance
till you crawl out of bed
grab the coffee cup
open up the bag
and fill the bowls all up!

When I'm done my breakfast
and a little catnip toke
then I climb onto the couch
cause ya know it's time to poke
if you're gonna poke right
then you need a lazy groove
cause you'll lie there all day
and you just won't move

If I'm pokin' really hard
then I roll onto my back
with my eyes on the ceiling
and my body really slack
an' I'll lie around for hours
with my paws in the air
an' my brain on autopilot
cause I don't give a care

there's only one thing
I just cannot abide
it's a terrible place
that people call OUT SIDE
there's nothin' to eat
there's rain and ice
an' the forest's real dirty
and coyotes ain't nice

It's better in my crib
with my funky kitty crew
a pair of bitty kittens
and La Nocturne too
I'm a cat who's slick
with the ladies you know
cause baby I'm a pimp
and Nocturne's my little h...OW! dammit that hurt! ow, right across the face! geez Nox, you don't have to be such a....OW!

NOCTURNE: Hsssssss.

current mood: groovy

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Saturday, July 8th, 2006
9:48 pm - Comic book love
I went to the comic book store and what's in my comic book bag explains a lot about me.

Gargoyles #1--been into Gargoyles since 1994, met Dylan through the Gargoyles fandom, and we've been together over 9 years now.

Transformers: Infiltration #5 and Transformers: Hearts of Steel #1--What can I say about the giant robots? Most of my friends dig the giant robots. Another fandom that's done a lot for me.

Clone Wars Adventures #4--I love me some clones. Fi from Republic Commando is my fantasy boyfriend.

GI Joe Declassified #1--I'm not active in the GI Joe fandom, but I do have a War Studies degree from Royal Military College and a lifelong interest in things military. And I faithfully buy GI Joe comics. I have about 3/4 of the original Marvel series.

About the only big thing missing there is TaleSpin, the show that inspired me to get my pilot's license.

Oh, and My Little Pony...

current mood: geeky

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Friday, July 7th, 2006
3:23 pm - Kitty Coupons
To those who have ever had difficulty with obnoxious people-- my kitties would like to offer their services free of charge.

KUMANI offers

One FREE hairball, delivered to Shoe of Your Choice!
Has someone given you a nasty surprise? Now you can return the favour.
(For accuracy of delivery, photo of shoe and scent sample of owner will be required.)

**

TYCHE offers

One FREE Hate Session!
Is there someone you'd love to tell off, but for various reasons,
cannot? Tyche can do it FOR you. Tyche has an extensive repetoire (including such hits as "Help Make The World A Nicer Place--Drop Dead," "Are You Naturally Stupid Or Did You Take Lessons" and "F*ck The Hell Off!") but will include phrases of your choice, as well as hissing, spitting and growling.
*Tyche will not address hate sessions towards clowder members, police officers, or members of the armed forces. Everyone else is fair game!

***

SMOKEY offers

One FREE Pimp Slap, WORD.
Know a B*tch who Needs a Slap? Smokey's Poke is Where it's At.
Smokey Keeps those Hos in Line. One Good Slap and You'll Feel Fine.
*Smokey Will Pimp Slap B*tches and Hos Of All Genders

***

Nocturne offers

One FREE Damnation of a Soul
Why wait for the afterlife for eternal suffering and persecution, when Nocturne can begin their misery right here, right now?

FAQ: Nox, why would you help someone for free?
NOX: Cruelty is its own reward.

Enjoy!

current mood: Kittiful

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Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
9:01 pm - Am I remembering right?
I've had the THUNDERCATS box set (Season 2 part 1) for some months now, and am almost done watching all of it. Today I watched half of THUNDERCUBS (a 5 parter) and it's gripping. This was the point where the show stopped airing in my area, so from here on, the rest of the eps--and the final box set--are shows I've never seen.

This set also has THUNDERCATS HO, the 5 parter that introduced Lynx-o, Bengali and Pumyra. The 5 parter that I remember best of all things Thundercats. The 5 parter I desperately wished I'd taped back when I was 10 years old.

The 5 parter that....sucks so much now...

The whole story could've been 2 episodes. Instead, the writers had to cram in Hammerhand, Capt Shiner, Ratar-o, Hachiman, and Snowman, as well as 3 new Thundercats. And of course we have the regulars, the Thundercats, the Mutants and Mumm-Ra. So, there are 5 episodes of close escapes, near misses, the Thundercats trying to find the new Thundarians, the new Thundarians trying to escape, the prisoners shuffled around from the custody of one flunky to another, etc. And Mumm-Ra trying to make Hachiman fight Lion-O...they already did that in Season 1. C'mon now. This multiparter is still effective at the beginning--the destruction of Thundara was terrifying to me as a kid--but really, if you're going to do a 5-parter, have some decent plot advancement in each of the 5 parts. Do it like...THUNDERCUBS.

current mood: nostalgic

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Sunday, June 18th, 2006
1:49 pm - There's an Insecticomic on my karma
I was bored one night and started coming up with goofy questions for Wayward's "Ask Vector Prime a Question" feature at

http://www.insecticons.com

Apparently Wayward was bored too, because my question sparked this:

http://www.insecticons.com/insecticomics/v2/vp004.html

I've created a monster, I think.

current mood: bouncy

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Saturday, June 17th, 2006
12:07 pm - Cora Caroline Schindel 1912-2006
Grandma Cora was going to leave the farm for a retirement community, but that was before I was born. While most of my classmates went to daycares, I was fortunate enough to be raised the old way, with the help of my grandmother. One of my first words was “Muh”—Mom was “Mom,” but “Muh” was as close to “grandma” as I could articulate at the time.

Grandma taught me to read, mostly by accident, before I started school. After hours and hours of “Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle,” my family naturally assumed I’d memorized the story. One Sunday, though, we came home from church and I sat myself down in the kitchen and began reading the “Light for Today” devotional we’d picked up at church. I couldn’t understand why Mom and Grandma looked so surprised.

Even after I started school full-time and Grandma finally got to move to the retirement community, we still saw a lot of each other. My first “sleepover” experience was the opportunity to go to Grandma’s and spend the night. Grandma’s place was especially fun because it had a swimming pool and cable TV. She would let me invite over my friends who lived in town. More importantly, though, Grandma had the patience to spend hours playing My Little Pony or stuffed animal games. When I started high school, Grandma’s place was just a few blocks from school. Sleepovers continued, as it was easy for me to spend the night and walk to school the next morning.

When I was at Grandma’s place, she would let me eat my favourite foods, such as Zoodles, even though she claimed that the animal-shaped pasta in tomato sauce would stain my stomach orange, permanently, if I ate more than one bowlful at the same meal. And of course, there was a price to be paid—dessert was usually prunes, and for Grandma, I made myself eat them. I also had to be careful not to spill on Grandma’s brocade chairs or put a cup on Grandma’s coffee table without a coaster under it, and even though I now have those chairs and that table in my apartment, I still have to put a coaster under my cups.

Every summer when I went away to camp, I would send Grandma letters through the mail. Once I went to university, letters became a regular habit. Even though we could still visit on the occasional weekend and even though we spoke on the phone every week, it was important to me to send a letter, something that could be kept and re-read when I wasn’t able to be there in person.

Grandma and I had a lot of happy times. But, perhaps more important were the times that were not so happy. When I was having problems with friends or problems making decisions or problems in the way I thought about myself, I knew that Grandma would always be there to listen to me. I knew that Grandma loved me, no matter what anyone else was saying to me. I knew that I didn’t have to pretend to be happy if I wasn’t, because Grandma would understand. Even if she couldn’t solve my problem, it was enough to know that someone cared and was willing to listen.

In the end, the most important thing that Grandma Cora taught me wasn’t about reading or swimming or how to not slop zoodles on the furniture. Grandma Cora taught me that in the darkest times of life, there are always two things that can be relied on: family and faith. When you know that God will be there to support you, when you know that your family relies on you, there is nothing you cannot face, nothing you cannot make it through. Thanks to Grandma Cora, I can spend the rest of my life with this assurance as a light to guide my path.

current mood: alone

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Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
9:07 pm - Would anyone like a Conservative Minority government?
I'd like to sell both of mine.

It's provincial election day and we wound up with a Conservative minority government. That's what we have on a federal level too.

Okay, it beats a majority, but I really don't want these guys back in power again.

In my riding, the NDP won and so at least my choice of MLA got into government.

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Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
9:05 pm - Super Quizzes
Your results:
You are Boba Fett
Boba Fett
71%
Han Solo
70%
Darth Maul
68%
Qui-Gon Jinn
68%
Lando Calrissian
67%
Chewbacca
67%
Mace Windu
66%
Yoda
65%
R2-D2
65%
Obi-Wan Kenobi
64%
Because of your dark past
you don't say much, and you don't
have many close friends,
but man do you look cool!


(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Quiz

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Friday, June 2nd, 2006
9:47 pm - Flies' time.
Wow. June already. How did that happen?

There was a trip to Brussels in there...I got a job...I worked on my thesis a lot...wow. I had no idea I'd left updating this thing so long. It's not as though I'm not on the internet on a daily basis.

I'm going to have to get myself together. But not today. No, today we had 3 fire alarms go off in the space of 5 hours, starting at 5:30 am. My sleep schedule's shattered and I've been draggy/napping all day. I'm back on caffeine and it's not working.

I'll get my act together tomorrow.

current mood: asleep

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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
12:23 am - HATE: My first stupid meme.
lefthandsnake is passing on this stupid meme to me. It's all about HATE. I enjoy HATE sometimes, so here's some HATE I'm willing to share.

What is your most hated....

FRUIT: Prunes. My grandma force fed me those for years.

CANDY: Black licorice is vile, but I also have a hate for bad chocolate. The kind of cheap garbage that is an insult to the amazing chocolate that is out there.

BEVERAGE: Apple juice, because I always feel like a cow kicked me in the stomach after I drink it.

COLOR: Fushia. Only Barbie should wear it.

TOWN/CITY: Grand Bend, Ontario. In the 80s it had a tornado. As my cadet CO used to say, "Shame it never finished the job."

TV SHOW: I harbour bitterness towards Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers for pre-empting Tale Spin way back in 1993. Yes, I do hold grudges.

MOVIE: Similarly, my vote here is an alien-monster movie called "I Come in Peace" which I might actually like now, but when I saw it as a little kid (ie, approx 10) I hated it.

BOOK: Michael Ondaatje's "The English Patient." Hated it in undergrad, hated it seven years later in graduate school.

THE INTERNET: People who compare anything to Nazis/Hitler. I'm a military historian. I know why in 99 percent of cases, your analogy is flawed. Unless you're actually talking about Nazis/Hitler to begin with.

ANIMAL: Human beings. Seriously, I've met far more unpleasant humans than unpleasant animals.

INSECT: I can't improve on lefthandsnake's answer: "The Confused Flour Beetles that live in our cupboards despite our best efforts. Apparently they're actually called that."

BIRD: Seagulls, aka "The GU-11, nature's heavy bomber."

SEASON: Summer. The horrible yellow orb, it burns.

AGE OF KIDS: If I ever have children, I will adopt them after they turn 2, because I cannot stand them any younger. There's something about the helplessness of infants that makes me angry and hostile. I kid you not.

DRIVING: People who run out in front of my car and expect me not to hit them.

TALKING ON THE PHONE: Smokey's insistant urge to strangle himself in the phone cord while I talk.

WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: And really having to pee.

EATING IN RESTAURANTS: The cost of the bill. I swear, I'd have so much more money if only I could break this unfortunate addiction to food.

GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: And trying to get change out of your wallet while not spilling your food or taking your foot off the brake. Really, I'd rather park, go in, get my food to go, and leave.

YOU'RE AT THE MALL: And probably broke.

SLEEPING (OR TRYING TO SLEEP): and the sun is shining onto my bed, making my skin itch and crawl, until I'm uncomfortable enough to wake up.

SHOWERING: and attempting to shave and bleeding everywhere.

YOU'RE AT THE BEACH: And that awful yellow thing is in the sky again, my skin is itching, my eyes are watering...conversely, it's a nice overcast day and no one wants to go to the beach with me.

YOU'RE AT THE GROCERY STORE: and some idiot in the express line has 20 items. What does "12 or less" mean to you, cow? GET OUT OF MY LINE!

YOU'RE ON A DATE: and what he wants to do is the polar opposite of what I want to do.

COOKING OR BAKING: When I manage to drop mayonnaise into the cutlery drawer, slop soy sauce into the vegetable crisper, or other spectacularly messy food spills. It's an anti-talent.

WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST?: Washing dishes. It makes my hands itch.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE?: Dependent on someone else.

WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING HABIT IN OTHERS?: Just one? The inability to understand that others don't think they way they do, don't value the same things, and that "different" need not mean "inferior."

IS YOUR WORST HABIT?: Clipping/biting my nails to the quick because something in my mind likes them better that way.

WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST?: Any heels higher than an inch. Who thought it was a good idea for females to essentially cripple themselves?

WHAT POPULAR SONG (PAST OR PRESENT) HAVE YOU HATED THE MOST?: "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child. I don't know why just hearing it makes me angry, but it does.

WORST OR MOST HATED PICKUP LINE: I don't do pickup lines. Prove to me why you deserve to exist first. Then I might consider being your friend. Depending on how good you are at being a friend, you may or may not be given the chance to ask me out. Or you might be sacrificed to Nocturne.

WORST THING ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL: The attitudes of the people in it. Being rejected by the town kids because my dad's a farmer and being an outsider among the country kids because of my mother's successful and profitable teaching career.

MOST IRRITATING THING ABOUT YOUR CAR: Her age. She's in magnificent mechanical repair, but she's a '95 and she won't run forever. I want her to.

Oh, and Zodiac won't let me paint a giant Decepticon insignia on the hood and put flames shooting down the sides.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GIRLS?: Obsession about what they look like.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT GUYS?: Crudeness and thinking everything has to do with sex.

WHAT'S ANNOYING YOU TODAY?: My desktop (Deskasaurus) looks like the town dump and I can't find my camera battery.

current mood: hateful

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Friday, May 5th, 2006
8:19 pm - Smokey
I was working as ITAC (Introduction To Aviation Course)'s administration officer for the third summer running in 2002 when I made the acquaintance of Smokey.

Smokey was hanging around the base looking for food, raiding the dumpsters when he couldn't catch rabbits or seagulls, living under the trailers. He was thin and timid but drawn to people (and their food).

The Ops security chief was Captain Wayne Hancock, who was one of those guys who seems mean and cranky all the time, but he'd give you his last shirt if you needed it. He had the tough-guy act after years in the Army and so that the cadets on base would listen to him, but the proof came in the fact that it wasn't long before a dish of cat food appeared beside the op-center door. Soon you'd see Capt. H in the cigarette pit with a grey, furry companion. Wayne named the cat Smokey for his habit of hanging around the smoke pit... (his full name is Smokey Wayne Pletsch-Blacquiere, with his middle name in honour of Capt. H.)

Capt. H wanted to take Smokey home, but his big and hostile German shepherd wouldn't have made a good housemate for Smokey, and he was afraid that Smokey would get hit by a car if he lived outside in suburbia. He was investigating possible homes for Smokey to go to after our contracts ended, when the storm broke.

Someone in Accommodations decided she'd had enough of that "nuisance animal" hanging around and called animal control. Deemed "too wild" for the shelter, Smokey was to be shot or poisoned.

Like hell...Capt H. gave me a last minute leave pass and I took Smokey to my place in Kingston. Oh, Smokey. We were leaving for a cross-country trip in two weeks and leaving Nocturne with my parents...Smokey had two weeks to housebreak himself, or he'd end up one of my dad's barn cats.

Smokey in fact took naturally to the litterbox. Less so to the food bowls--he'd cry beside the garbage pail, wanting scraps, unable to believe the full bowls of food were for him. He'd timidly put a paw on the couch, as if asking if it was okay to sit there, asking if he'd be thrown outside if he made a mistake. I was afraid he'd never be able to give up "the wild outdoors," but now he throws a screaming fit if the window's open...apparently the outdoors sucks, due to its lack of couches, roofs, and bottomless bowls of cat food.

Nocturne, previous feline resident with a Jehovah complex, found Smokey utterly disgusting, his presence unbearable...and he followed her around like a ninth-grade nerd with a crush on the prom queen.

When we got back from our trip, Smokey had my parents wound around his paw with his pathetic adoration of anyone who feeds him. He was neutered and got shots and got dewormed, and as the months went by he filled out into a handsome and glossy-furred boy.

We asked the vet for a tag for him. The vet said that a cat would not tolerate a large dog-style ID tag, but gave it to us anyway. Smokey loves it, and has worn it for 4 years to date. It's his "bling."

"Why do people say 'owned' like it's a bad thing?" --Smokey

current mood: feline

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Thursday, May 4th, 2006
11:22 pm - Cats rule.
This is going to be the first of many posts about the feline overlords, and why they are the pinnacle of evolution.

A dog loves you because it's wired to respect the members of its pack. A cat loves you if you prove yourself deserving of the emotion--and once a cat loves you as family, he loves you deeply.

A dog is dependent on you for its self-esteem. A cat does not need your constant attention to validate its self-worth--she already knows she is a tiny God. She wants your attention because she enjoys being in your company. Or not, in which case your attention is irrelevant to her.

I live with four. I don't "own" them. I'm owned by Nocturne, a parent to Kumani and Tyche, and okay, maybe I own Smokey but only because he wants me to. Their stories will be forthcoming.

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